Street but Sweet

THOUGHTS, TALES, AND TRIVIAL THINGS

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Bridezilla Diaries: The hardest thing

Over lunch, a couple of friends were asking me what the hardest part about preparing a wedding is. I hemmed and hawed and was somewhat reluctant to give an answer, mostly because I'm not exactly the typical bride. (Less than four months left and we've barely got anything done. Yeesh.) Plus I've always thought that it's not as hard as people make it seem. But given that I've been stressing over it for the last couple of weeks--more because I am so easily stressed, with matching psychosomatic symptoms to boot--I guess there are some things that could be classified under "the hard parts":

The guest list. This, by far, has caused me the most grief. The venue is supposedly enough for 250 people, but my lovely caterer advised me that 220 was pushing it, especially since I insist on having a dance floor. Two hundred twenty people between me and H--my family alone can fill quite a number of tables! H was nice enough to let me have 120 out of the 220. Now, family + high school friends + bench boys + CADs friends + college friends + my Indian family + former co-workers + current co-workers + teammates + the seats I promised mumsy = still way too many people. I was teary-eyed as I crossed some people off my working list, or relegated them to List B.

The dilemmas: How does one invite one person without having to invite other people connected to him/her? (You know how some people are package deals...) Is it OK to invite a friend, but not his/her spouse (whom you're not even friends with), after they invited you to their wedding? (My answer here is a resounding no. I'm very Emily Post that way.) Do I have to invite people I see regularly, but whom I'm not particularly close to? (I am leaning towards yes. You try not inviting someone you see every week and tell me that it isn't awkward.)

One BFF offered this advice: Be ruthless. Let me tell ya, that is a hell of a lot easier said than done. And I've got 170 names on my edited list to prove it.

The invitation. While I've asked Zsazsa Zaturnnah creator Carlo Vergara to work on the design, working on the content isn't quite as fun. When we started planning this wedding, I figured I had to put in a few "political ninongs" in there--not "political" in the sense that they were senators or whatever, but "political" in the diplomatic sense. Let's just say that there are...family issues that we're trying to put to rest, feuds that we're somehow trying to resolve through this wedding. Sigh.

Letting go of my inner control freak. Seriously, this is not an easy thing to do. Poor H, who once had a very sane girlfriend, now has to contend with an incessant nagger. Let me clarify that I hate hate hate nagging, but I've been hearing myself do it more often because I feel like things aren't getting done. And when things don't get done, I feel actual physical pain. I am not kidding. I actually end up doing Sudoku puzzles just to stop myself from dwelling on things that I've ceded control over to someone else.

And then I realized last night, after throwing another bitch fit, that just because things aren't getting done my way, it doesn't mean they aren't getting done. I just really have to learn to let. Things. Go. And breathe in the process.

So, those are the top three hardest things about preparing a wedding--at least from my POV. All things considered, I suppose I still have it easy. And even if things go terribly wrong (knock on wood!), I'm still lucky enough to be marrying the man of my dreams.

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13 Comments:

  • At 3:19 PM , Anonymous Cheng said...

    haha. sharing the same sentiments as in your first point. Mike and I both have a huge family and relatives. Good thing we have common college and SGV friends, including warriors. At least, it's quite easier to select people to invite. isipin na lang natin, si juday nga 250 pax lang, celeb pa sila pareho. if they did it, tayo pa kaya? haha

     
  • At 6:21 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    I was so tempted to do a really small wedding tapos party na lang after. Para sa small wedding, super immediate family and barkada lang. Kaso dalawang event pa iisipin ko kung ganu'n! Haha.

     
  • At 11:50 AM , Blogger moonpool said...

    It's YOUR special day. People shouldn't take it against you if they aren't invited. :) Financial crisis naman eh! Haha.

     
  • At 12:17 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    Again, that is easier said than done.:s Of course they shouldn't take it against me, but I can't help how they feel.

     
  • At 12:22 PM , Blogger moonpool said...

    We can never please everyone naman... You can't control how people feel. The important thing is that you know in your heart that you tried your best to include the people that matter most. :)

     
  • At 12:30 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    ...hence, 170 people. Haha.

     
  • At 9:33 AM , Anonymous Dondi said...

    Cheers to people pleasers! Hep! Hep! Hurray! =)

    Just close your eyes and slowly scratch off the names on your list one by one until you get your 120. It made me cringe each time I had to erase a name. But according to my research (to justify the name scratching!), uninvited people SHOULD understand. And it is RUDE for them to ask why they weren't invited or to invite themselves. So if people ask you why you didn't invite them, you can say to yourself "Buti na lang hindi ko sila inimbita, ang RUDE nila!" hahahaha

    Seriously, good luck with that. This is really one of the hardest things to do. And this is why I hate people for saying they're going to come and eventually they don't show up. Argh. Kaya mo yan! At least we saved you two more guests. Assuming na invited kami. RUDE ba? =)

    @Cheng: Ginaya nila Juday and Ryan yung wedding namin! San Juan Nepomuceno Church then Balai sa Laiya reception!

     
  • At 12:49 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    Donds! I remember when you were agonizing over this last year. Hahaha. I also remember you telling me about the rudeness factor--pero na-affect pa din kayo sa mga assuming na invited di ba?:D

    Gasp! Hindi kayo uuwi sa September?!:O Hahaha.

     
  • At 1:18 PM , Anonymous VV said...

    I remember my wedding last year... We just really wanted a very small affair but I guess being Pinoy, we just have to accept the fact that weddings aren't just about the couple -- it's mostly about our families. :-) Enjoy your big day!

     
  • At 11:15 AM , Blogger kCNeSs said...

    Hi! Thought of this before but I just hesitated. I was wondering if you would do a post on you know how you and H met.. Haha!! Wala lang, or maybe there's already a post about this before..hope this doesn't add up to the stress..haha!!

     
  • At 4:15 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    Hey KC! We met in college--a friend intro'd us. But I found out later on that he had a crush on me since high school. *blush* Hahaha.

    If you want to read about the night we got together, it's here:
    http://www.femalenetwork.com/
    fnblog/2007/10/17/campus-romance/

    :)

     
  • At 4:58 PM , Blogger kCNeSs said...

    i knew it wasn't just an ordinary love story..hehe..:) ang sweet naman and so kilig..haha!

     
  • At 1:03 PM , Blogger Tisha said...

    Hey VV, I went into the whole planning thing with that mindset--that as much as I want to say that it's just about the two of us, so screw everyone else, it's not. Hehe.

    KC, yup he's the sweetest.:)

     

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