Street but Sweet


Monday, June 19, 2006

Things have been crazy, and not always in a good way. I wish I could say that I spent the last week on some remote island where there was no internet. Or that I just had so many gimiks and met up with all these friends every night. Or that I did something I'd never done before (which, I think, is something people should regularly do), and the experience was just so awesome that I had to process it for a few days. But lately it's just been about work, and trying to keep up, and trying to remember to breathe. It's been about realizing what my Phoenix side is and wondering how long I can keep up being Jean. (Forever.) It's about wanting to break down but knowing that I have no real reason to. Which makes me want to just break down all the more.

I have a good job. I have great friends. I have a normal family...well, at least we've come a long way from where we used to be. I have no reason to complain. It feels selfish to. But for a few days, I couldn't help feeling tired. Of making an effort. Of being. Of everything. For a few days after that, I was fine. Perhaps I was preoccupied with other people's happiness, and for a while that was enough, basking in the glow of other people's good fortune. But today, I'm just exhausted.


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