Street but Sweet


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Just say "no"

It's a humbling experience when you realize that you cannot, in fact, do everything. At least, not all at once.

This realization came in the middle of SM Supermarket, as I frantically searched the aisles for stuff I needed (sans my glasses) and spewed a stream of invectives directed at what felt like The Worst Day Ever. (I was on the phone so that people wouldn't be freaked out by the tiny woman in The Worst Mood Ever.) But I'll skip giving details about the whole ugly incident, which involved me tearfully asking one of the salesdudes, "Nasa'n po (sniff) ang mga table (sniff) napkin?" The look on that dude's face was priceless.

It was the end of the day, and I hadn't cried like that in a really long time. Really. And it felt sooo good, but also so incredibly draining. After having saltwater run down my cheeks and my tirade about how there just isn't enough time to do everything, I felt slightly better, and was thinking much more clearly. It was then that I realized that I can't keep doing what I'm doing now. I can't keep this pace without having these meltdowns. I can't do it all, even though it's what's expected of me--and I have to stop trying to prove that I can. I have to learn to say "no," even if it kills me.

The day I turned 27, my 30-something friends told me that it was the start of something great--it was the age of self-discovery, when you realize who you really are. And I don't know if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, or if it's really true, but I have a much more vivid image of who I truly am now than I did last year. I know my limitations. I know that I can't please everyone. I know that I'm not That Girl whom everyone adores (nor do I want to be). And, more importantly, I'm starting to accept all these things. Now if only I didn't need to experience embarrassing supermarket incidents to have these epiphanies!

Maybe when I'm 28.


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