On a quest for self-improvement

(Or: "Tisha pushes herself to get off her lazy ass")

I've long known that one of the reasons I'm a bit of an underachiever is that I'm just too lazy, that I don't want things bad enough for me to do anything to get them (e.g., for years I've complained about my bilbil--and I think the fact that I've been complaining for years is enough proof). It's only recently that I've started to push myself to get things done. I'm just tired of being directionless and mediocre.

While many a resolution expert would say that it's best to have one major goal rather than a long list of life to-dos, I've embarked on a quest to improve a number of aspects of my life:

1) Body - While I've been going to the gym the past few months, I think I was just going through the motions. Yes, finally I'm at that point where I'm serious about my workout. It took a few months but I've guilt-tripped myself into thinking that I'm paying for this damn gym membership, so I might as well take full advantage of it. I've also been inspired by Jessica Alba's physique in that Into the Blue poster. In time, in time...

I've resolved to run 5k once a week. It's been two weeks and I actually find myself looking forward to it. I used to hate running on the treadmill, but I've been lucky to catch interesting shows the past couple of times I was working out (a PBA game and Fear Factor. Haha).

I burned over 400 calories running last night, the most I think I've ever burned at the gym in one go. And that was after running for about 45 minutes. It made me realize why I was trimmer in college--I would dance for hours and would really work up a sweat, pushing 'til my legs could barely move, whereas last night, I easily kept my pace, even after strength-training (it was only later, sprawled on my bed, that I realized just how exhausted I was).

2) Mind - Apart from being appalled by my own lack of knowledge in, well, most everything, I do believe that a good writer needs to be a voracious reader. And while two books a month may not seem like much, it's still quite a leap from the handful that I used to read per year.

3) Spirit - No, this has nothing to do with religion. I suppose I believe that our creative side isn't really mental, but somewhat spiritual. And I think a sense of career fulfillment would do much to enrich my spirit.

I decided to take on a racket for another magazine--a little different from what I'm used to since it involves a bit of styling. At first, I was terrified to take it on since I have no experience in the area (I often think that people approach me for these projects thinking I have some degree of knowledge and credibility, just because I work for this mag. They are so misguided. Haha). But then I realized that fear isn't going to get me anywhere. So I'm diving into it. It could only get easier, right? Besides, I don't want to channel all my energies towards reaching my other goal; I do have to be the best that I can be in the profession that I'm currently in. Call me the queen of multi-tasking. Well, maybe just the princess.

In relation to my "Career path" entry, after figuring out exactly what I want to do and where I want to be, my next step was determining how to get there. I haven't actually come up with a concrete plan, except to say that I will try to learn as much as possible by reading, will take cooking classes, and will try my hand at food styling come June. I also think that I should cook more--and so, this morning, I actually cooked my own lunch! Given that our oven's busted and that I had to use our turbo broiler, the tuna casserole didn't come out perfectly, but it's still quite tasty (at least I didn't burn it...). Besides, perfection wasn't the point. I'm just happy I did it.

Wow, I think all this is quite overwhelming, but I think the best word to describe me at this point is "driven." Wish me luck!