Bul-bowled over

As part of preps for the Big Day, I wanted to get "fully landscaped," as my friend Marie would call it. Well, not fully--I had already become a citizen of Brazil, but wanted to revert to being French. The whole Brazilian thing sometimes leaves the impression that you haven't hit puberty yet... TMI for male readers* (if there are any), I know.

After reading the Beauty Coach's entry about the whole landscaping shtick, I decided to call one of her recommended waxers: Wilma the Bulbulizer. (I am not kidding. She even has a calling card!) I had gone to salons before, and also tried my BFF's home-service waxing lady (who used a homemade wax that looked a lot like a katamaran lab project that Ching and I submitted in high school). My most regular waxing lady was Marifel from Aura Salon (along Katipunan), a woman whose uncanny talent is her being able to tell if a customer is a virgin or not. But I decided on Wilma because, well, she's very reasonably priced. And for the amount of waxing I intended to have done, I needed someone who wouldn't charge me an arm and a leg (and a back, and all the other areas I wanted done).

For just a thousand bucks, this chick from Pampanga would go right to your house and perform a no-nonsense, full-body waxing and threading job (including eyebrows!) in no time. Seriously, that was the fastest session I've ever had! And while she's at it, she'll regale you with funny (or sad, but told in a funny way) stories about her life, her showbiz clients, her job:

Wilma: Ah, ikakasal ka pala.
Me: Opo.
Wilma: 'Yung asawa ko kasi sumakabila na...
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry--
Wilma: ...sumakabilang-bahay.

~*~*~*~

Wilma: Sa Saudi, gusto ng mga lalake na wala talagang buhok ang mga babae. Kung mas wala kang buhok, mas madami kang sex.

~*~*~*~

Me: Wina-wax niyo po ba ang sarili niyo?
Wilma: Dati, nung nagse-sex pa ako.

~*~*~*~

Wilma: 'Yung UFC fighter na 'yon, nagpa-wax sa akin. Ang balbon ng pwet!

~*~*~*~

Wilma: Ang ibang babae, lalo na pag dalaga, ayaw nilang nagbo-boyzilian (a Brazilian for males), nahihiya sila. Ako, wala akong pakialam. Hinahawakan ko talaga ang t*t*.

~*~*~*~

But it wasn't her waxing and threading ability, or even her humor that truly impressed me (although those were certainly praiseworthy); it was her drive and her entrepreneurial spirit that struck me. Don't be fooled: Once you get over the shock from her unapologetically frank and humorously crass language, you'll find that Wilma is a very smart woman--one who has made a name for herself not just in Pampanga, but in the big city. In one day trip to Manila, she can attend to as many as 10 clients. She provides her homemade wax to a high-end waxing salon, and trains newbie waxers. She even offers services for waxing parties (a really good price for a party of 10--great idea for a bridal shower!).

I was only with her for about an hour, but I was pretty impressed with what I could gather from her life story. She was able to find the hair-free balls to leave a bad marriage, and is working very hard to put her kids through school. Her story is so interesting, in fact, that a bunch of students even did a whole term paper about her!

I'll be calling her again for some, uh, maintenance, some tsismis, and a bit of inspiration--such a great, surprising source.

*And now, I leave you with something especially for the male readers, a little something I found online as I was researching different cuts:

From here. That last one is what is more commonly known as a boyzilian.

Want to get bulbolized? Contact Wilma through mobile 0917-8059176. She's usually in Manila on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you're interested in having a waxing party, she's game to do it on a weekend.